Happiness is My Default

"So anyway, there's this physics professor at the U who wrote a book about the physics of superheroes." 

"Oh! Yeah, I heard him interviewed on NPR. And he has another book. . ."

"Yes! I've read it. It's called . . ."

"The Amazing Story of Quantum Mechanics."

It takes all of my self control not to reach across the table and kiss him, in full view of everyone on the street. First of all, because he's read a book on quantum mechanics just for the hell of it. Second, because we've finished one another's sentences twice over the course of the evening.

When the check comes and I reach for my credit card he waves me off. "I'd like to see you again. How about I get this and you get the next?"

I'm smiling so much I can't even reply.

***

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

"What?"

"You're out. In Dinkytown. At 12:30AM. In a club. And you're smiling. What the shit?"

"Happiness is my default."

"She's texting."

The couch we're sitting on doesn't really have room for a third, but he squishes in anyway.

"That can't be it. Nobody smiles that much while they're texting."

"She found someone who laughs at her grammar jokes." 

There's a collective groan. 

"You guys are a bunch of assholes."

"Just make sure that if you eventually bring him around, you bring him to our house first. We're the least judgmental of this whole group."

"What? Who are you kidding?"

I'm grateful to let the conversation devolve around me. It gives me a(nother) reason to be on my phone.

***

"Hey, are you all right?"

"Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You're shaking."

I take a deep breath. "Call it an involuntary stress response." 

"Bad exes?" 

"Bad exes." I shiver. "I'm sorry. That ruined what could have been a really nice goodnight." 

He smiles at me, reaches over and pushes the hair out of my eyes. "We all have something."

I bury my face in his shoulder. "That was the exact right thing to say."

I can't see his face, but I can feel him smile.

***

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I'd be annoying myself if I wasn't so dopamined out of my mind."

"Yeah, you're pretty disgusting. But, really. How did it go?"

"You mean, aside from the panic attack?"

"Yes. I mean aside from the panic attack."

"Well, first of all, I think everyone should have a panic attack on their second date. How the person responds to it is a good barometer for what kind of a person they are."

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

"Seriously, though. I might understand why people do this now." 

"Wow."

"Yeah. It feels kinda weird to be this happy."

"I think it's a pretty good default place to be, Kels." 

"Yeah. I think so too."