Good God, Lemon

"And then she comes at you, big words, no clothes. What do you do?"

Michelle has to pause the episode of Game of Thrones because I'm cheering so loudly.

"I thought you hated her as a character?" She asks.

"Yes, but I think an exceptional vocabulary should be a turn on for everyone."

"I almost find it hard to believe that you haven't gotten laid in awhile."

I stick out my tongue at her and we start the episode again.

***

There are moments when I can't decide if my life is like an embarrassingly inspiring thirty second Diet Coke spot or the incredibly depressing first twenty minutes of a romantic comedy.

Tonight is one of those nights.

It's been an emotionally exhausting week, with the kind of events that normally leave me twitching in the corner. So tonight when given the option to take a raincheck on my evening plans I gratefully pulled on a soft old sundress and a comfortable cardigan, picked up Chinese from the takeaway down the street, poured myself a large glass of wine, and curled up in front of 30 Rock.

All right, that part doesn't sound so much like an inspiring Diet Coke commercial.

***

I would rather watch television than movies. 

There. I admitted it. I love television. 

I wasn't always like this. For years I poo-pooed T.V.. I would announce, rather hipsterly (and pretentiously as all get-out) that I would rather watch a black and white movie or read a book, that I had little interest in switching off my brain with television. 

God, I was just the worst. 

Fortunately, I have an older brother who is smarter and less of an asshole than I am. While I was in graduate school and having a meltdown over finals he suggested that I walk over to the library and pick up The Wire. 

It was a revelation. 

The Wire was the first time I had ever experienced the addictive power of a television series, the way the storytelling can pull you in and not let you go until you realize that it's 3:00AM and still find yourself wondering Can I maybe fit in another episode? Sleep isn't really *that* important.

The Wire was just the start of my love-affair with television. I've binged on everything from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I didn't watch most of Joss Whedon's oeuvre until I was twenty-five) to Mad Men to Battlestar Galactica. There are series that were so good I've seen them more than once (I can practically recite season five of Buffy) and shows I never finished because I thought they were idiotic (never, never in my life will anyone convince me to watch Lost). My love for Doctor Who is fangirl obsessive and well-documented.

I never told my older brother thanks for that push in the right direction. 

***

I have two favorite moments from Firefly. 

They're thematically related. I unpacked the first, from the episode "Heart of Gold," a little bit last summer. The second is from the episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds" (which is, hands down, one of my all-time favorite Joss Whedon anythings). Captain Tightpants Mal is attempting to explain how he was seduced by a woman (a younger Christina Hendricks, prior to her becoming a sex symbol). 

Mal: But she was naked and all . . . articulate!

When I saw that moment for the first time, Maggie had to pause the episode because I was cheering so loudly. I loved it for the same reason I loved Gendry's line in the recent Game of Thrones episode. Quite simply, the idea that a lady can be sexually attractive not only because, you know, she's stunningly gorgeous but because she's articulate and clever and completely not afraid of being all of those things turns my crank.

Put another way: Brainy's the new sexy.

And how. I mean, at least for me. 

It's the fantasy that's at the heart of most of my television consumption. Many of my favorite characters are bright, beautiful women (Laura Roslin, Irene Adler, Buffy Summers, Echo, Dana Scully) who have their shit together in ways that feel incredibly distant on nights like tonight. And yes, I realize they're television characters, but when Leslie Knope got engaged I cried like an idiot and am not at all only a little chagrined to admit that I felt like maybe there was hope that I would find my Ben someday too (Oh my God, seriously. Skinny. Writes Star Trek fanfic. Works in government. *Swoon*) When 30 Rock went off the air, I honestly believed that there is a way for women to find a balance between a home life and a fulfilling professional career. 

Yes, I know that these things are fiction. And not only are they fiction, they're television. But I don't really see much difference between the stomach swoops I get while reading Pride & Prejudice and the cheering that happens every time a gorgeous character in a SFF show is thunderstruck by a naked women using polysyllabic words. 

Or that's what I tell myself on nights like tonight.