Summer Plans

I am pretty confident in my hostessing abilities.

I have a stack of recipes on which I depend for dinner parties. People keep coming back for dinner, so they must be pretty good. I can make an elegant looking dessert without a whole lot of hassle. I have an amazing apron and can cook in high heels and pearls. There's usually table wine in the house and I have assigned playlists for when there are guests over. If it's an impromptu gathering I can whip together something incredible out of the ingredients in my house with a minimum amount of fuss. I have a collection of stories which can get a laugh out of the most boring group of people (some off-color, some for high-class company). I'm a great conversationalist and work hard to make everyone at the dinner table feel included.

The one aspect of my hostessing abilities in which I am not entirely comfortable is my ability to mix a really fantastic cocktail. I'm not talking about a vodka soda (too simple) or a bloody mary (at which I excel), but an actual cocktail. Consequently, this summer my goal is to teach myself to make my three favorite cocktails perfectly.

Cocktail number one:


The Classic Martini

I love martinis. As anyone who has seen me at a Friday happy hour can probably attest, I love martinis a little too much. It's classy. It's classic. It's totally fucking delicious. I'm also a bit of a snob when it comes to my martinis. A martini is always and forever made with gin. If it's made with anything else, you're drinking some other kind of glorified frou-frou cocktail. However, despite my love for martinis, I've never been satisfied with my ability to mix them well. Something always seems a little lacking in the ones I make at home--perhaps it's nothing more than the adorable bartenders who seem to mix the drinks at the establishments I frequent, the pleasure of the Mediterranean plate at Zeno's, or the the lack of dashing young men to take me out for my drinks. I will find out.

Cocktail number two:

The Brandy Old-Fashioned

I'm from Wisconsin, the state where Korbel exports 1/3 of all its brandy production. My father's favorite drink (when it's not a PBR) is a brandy and diet Coke. When I came to Minnesota I discovered quickly that no one drinks the stuff. I mean, at all. There's a fair amount of other alcohol consumption, but the brandy section at the liquor store is woefully inadequate. Additionally, no one (aside from my friend Betsy) can mix a decent old-fashioned. It's time these folks learned that watching Brett Farve blow an NFC championship game by throwing an interception is far easier when you have one (or three) of these in your system.

Cocktail number three:

The Mint Julep

Much like the hooker with a heart of gold, my mint juleps are a little rough around the edges. One of the greatest things about a well-made mint julep is you ability to drink the whole refreshing, sweet, strong glass on a hot evening without realizing it. It's a smooth, beautiful drink that makes me want to sit on a patio in a sundress and hat, fanning myself and talking about how the construction worker down the street is givin' me the vapors.

Those are the summer cocktails. I'm hoping that I'll be able to find some folks to come over, sample, and give me some notes.