The Worst Thing You Can Tell a Man is That You Never Even Considered It

A response to my friend Mark's poem "The Worst Thing You Can Tell a Woman is Not to Fall in Love With You"

The Worst Thing You Can Tell a Man is That You Never Even Considered It

First, you should slap him, but with

your hand. Not your eyes

which aren’t espresso brown,

or even hazel, but green.

And enough with the piazza and the Chianti.

The next thing you know it will be candlelight

and long dresses—your clavicle will make him think of God

Truthfully, it was on a Wednesday afternoon over pizza and Miller Light

in the bowling alley two blocks from your house.

The “who the fuck part” is correct. It may even have been a little more colorful.

When he blushes and his gaze flickers

roll your eyes and tell him exactly what

you’re thinking

You’re an egomaniac.

Go to him, two months later,

with the dress and the clavicle and the Chianti.

Put your head in his lap

and show him it’s not love.

But something else entirely.