Absence

Two words to describe my spiritual life right now:

Hot mess.

Non-existent might also be apt.

***

Absence

(A Psalm, of sorts.)

I searched for you in church and temple

looked for you in the falling leaves

and white-tailed deer outside my window.

You were in neither music nor in art,

the wails of the sick or of the newly born.

I sought you in my neighbors

and the corners of myself.

I want to learn to love you, Lord.

But how can I love

what I cannot find?